Well, September 28th I will complete one full year in this strange country some call Paraguay. An island surrounded by land, as it's described in travel guides. I describe it as the land of instant coffee, the country of barefoot 5-year-olds running gayly with machetes, a place where the national bread is a root vegetable, similar to a potato, where emaciated dogs roam the streets looking for the freshest pile of cow shit to snack on, where cana liquor costs 40 cents a pint, and a land where confused roosters cock-a-doodle-do at all hours of the day and night. But, this strange place has been has been my home for nearly a year, and it will be for another year adn 3 months, so now I'd like to take this moment to reflect back on some of the valuable lessens the Paraguayans have taught me, that I will keep with me for the rest of my life;

1. If you keep your money in your bra, you will get cancer

2. If you cut your nails at night, you will die

3. If you drink hot mate, then put on cold shoes, you will die

4. If you drink terere and eat watermelon, you will explode and you will die

5. If you eat mangos with milk, you will die

6. If a toad pees in your eye, you will go blind

7. If you eat raw veggies, you will get worms. Veggies also make you fat. Tortillas fried in pig fat will not.
8. The bats here eat people

9. Eating chicken makes you smarter. Kelly's wonderful host dad taught me that. May he rest in peace.

10. Put toad in blender. puree. drink. your cancer is cured.

11. Spicy food makes one horny and must be avoided at all costs.

And I also have some things that I've learned/discovered on my own, through my personal experience;

1. There's no limit to how many times an article of clothing (underwear included), can be patched or mended. see photo attatched.

2. Toads are like boomarangs. No matter how far you throw them, they always come back.
3. 12 hours of sleep is not enough. One must nap after lunch as weell, sometimes up to 4 hours. On rainy days you may sleep after breakfast as well.

4. Exotic and endangered species such as toucans, armadillos, giant lizards, owls, and all types of birds should not be killed for please with slingshots. Although, I do treasure my toucan beack that was gifted to me.

5. It is possible to get bored enough that you will try to dread your hair.

6. Snot rockets are acceptable. Dirty feet are not.
7. Veggies taste so much better when they come from my garden. My veggies are like my children. I raised them. Except, I would never eat my children... Honest.

8.Paraguayans don't hold grudges. It makes sense. What's the point? Your only hurting yourself. Still, it's been really hard to let that one go. But its made life a lot easier.

9. They also avoid confrontation at all costs. They will talk shit all day behind each others backs, even close friends and family, but they will not say anything to their faces. I however do the opposite. That scares people. When confronted they get very scared. My host mom pretends i'm not talking and walks away.

10. Things are beautiful if you love them. I think theres a quote that sounds something like that. That's how I feel about PY. It's really quite ugly, but its my home and I love it and I am able to find beauty in it. Not always in Asuncion though, that place always smells like piss.

whoopie cushion suerte

Well...its hot. Hasn´t rained in over a month. I´m in Caazapa today to do some shopping, mostly because I wanted strawberries, and I learned the hard way, you can´t trust a Paraguayan to buy you strawberries when they go to town unless you want smashed, rotten, berries, with half of what you paid for missing. hmm.. Oh yeah, and peas, I needed more peas.
I got your two packages mom. Thank you. This time the whoopie cushion arrived safely. The mail people actually stole the first whoopie cushion my mom sent me. So strange. Who wants a whoopie cushion? Besides me.
Lassie and Chipa had baths the other day. They really hated me for it. Lassie was pissed but she was a lot easier to bathe than chipa who is stronger and terrified of water. I have some great pictures of them all angry that ill put up another day. Lassie has an eye infection. And mange again.
I don´t know. I don´t feel like thinking right now. Maybe I´ll add more later.

Oh Asuncion...

My rooster, and one of my hens butts

Chipa was a puppy once

Ma, Pa, and a cow head

My cat before the neighbors killed her

A glimpse inside the mandioca truck (above)

Ese Ka'a. The best Paraguayan Ska band in PY. And they are easy on the eyes too.

After being in Asuncion for close to a week for our "project management workshop,"and then a couple days rest over the weekend, I'm ready to go back to site. I checked out of the hotel, got all my shit together, and realized it is sunday and dont have a bus this afternoon. So I will be stuck here another night. Thats kind of annoying. Nothing really exciting has been happening to me. I saw 2 big wild parrots in the trees, and that was nice. They talked. I talked back. They didn't respond to me. Maybe they only speak spanish.

Yesterday a bunch of us went to a futbol (soccer) game. Olimpia vs. 12 de Octubre. Unfortunately, Olimpia lost 1-3. They played shitty. People were drunk and pissed. Not me of course. Alcohol is not permitted at the games, but at halftime you can order "leche"(milk), and that is apparently the code word for beer. We were in the crazy fan section where the band was playing, the people were waving their flags and singing songs that i pretended to know the words too, and whenever olimpia scored a goal the people at the top would run down to the bottom of the stands with a giant flag that covered half the stand. Good thing I was pre-warned, because when a goal is scored, everyone elses cue in the stands is to get the hell out of the way of the crowd of people running down the stairs with a giant flag. It's not the safest idea, but it was lots of fun.

Nothing else. I'm exhausted and my brain hurts.